Forgiveness is the "final frontier" in our healing journey, a profound destination that signifies the culmination of our efforts to mend and grow.
After ten years of dedicated work, I’ve reached this profound place. The key was recognizing how my past unforgiveness was still manifested as anger in some of my present relationships or acquaintances.
I recognized that my triggers were not about my current relationships. They reminded me of the past, and I would get defensive and go into protection mode without knowing it. The solution was self-awareness and getting to the root. So remember, triggers are the most essential part of our healing and forgiveness journey. They are not about the present moment. Triggers help us heal and get to the frontier of forgiveness.
Declaring forgiveness in our minds is easy, but without genuine healing, it becomes a hollow spiritual bypass. Many who experience trauma rush to forgive, neglecting the crucial step of validating their experiences. Validating our trauma needs to happen to get the painful emotions out of our bodies. To help us see the stories we had to create to survive.
Our rush to forgive can be as harmful as telling someone to "get over it." True forgiveness is only possible when we honor our pain from what happened to us and then engage in deep healing work.
Initially, I couldn't understand why forgiveness felt dishonest, but now I see it was because I was bypassing my healing. Forgiveness should be a natural outcome of addressing and healing our trauma, not a forced, rushed effort. Recognize and fully feel your emotions, understand their roots, and take meaningful action.
Forgiveness is a life-affirming quest that requires deep, personal work. The first step in this journey is forgiving yourself. If you cannot forgive yourself, it will be challenging to forgive another.
Understanding that everyone, including ourselves, did the best they could is a crucial realization that paves the way for forgiveness.
This perspective shifts our mindset, allowing us to see the humanity in others and ourselves. But it takes a lot of work to get here. It acknowledges the limitations and challenges that shape our actions and decisions, fostering a sense of compassion essential for healing. By embracing this understanding, we create space for grace and acceptance, vital components of letting go.
Opening our hearts fully to life once more is the ultimate reward of forgiveness. When we release the burden of past grievances, we liberate ourselves to experience the present with renewed openness and joy. This act of forgiving transforms our relationship with the world, inviting love, connection, and a deeper appreciation for the beauty of life.
Sincerely,
Paul Noiles
